I can't complain. Help me understand why. Its a question that has troubled me at times, as even the most beautiful people I know are so often so down about their looks. Social media isnt a race, and the user with the most friends doesnt end up winning anything. Most people wouldn't say that unless they meant it. A sense of listless hopelessness advances as I search for a way to show them what I see. June 8, 2023, 3:48 pm, by We just tend to focus on avoiding losses, even if it doesnt make sense. I think you're right to find it a little condescending, personally. This makes me suspicious. I'm 22. However, on most days when I look in the mirror I just can't see what's attractive about me. Dyllan: No, life is hard either way. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. No. Its just the way it is sometimes. Not at the sales lady, but because he knew I was thinking WTH?? But secrets bother me. No, unfortunately not. On a night out, how many of their drinks do they actually pay for themselves? If you think youre actually kinda pretty but youre not getting dates, dont hesitate to make the first move. Youre indeed physically attractive. Do you get asked out on dates all the time? I want to be there for someone I really care about. Needless to say, you are attractive. Are you such a person? | Recently, while standing on a rooftop bar in Lisbon my face sunburned and sand in my hair after a day on the beach I looked around to realise that everyone else in this bar was ridiculously beautiful. Does this happen to anyone else? We tend to focus on how it affects our perception of ourselves, but the media affects how we judge others, too. I used to be a professional dancer, so my looks played a big part in my career. 3,727,509. And when people who I don't like come on to me, I have to turn them down. There are just some days or weeks or months when we feel like were ugly. You could be in danger, Tech how-to: Control your computer using your phone, 5 handy Google apps you should be using on your Android, Cable companies offering free internet service See if you qualify, Privacy how-to: Secure ways to hide naked photos, More episodes of Kim Komando Daily Tech Update, Scammers create fake Facebook profiles and send you a friend request to access to your personal data, like contact details, or other personally identifiable information thats restricted to friends only, This information would be useful in setting you up for aphishing attack. But what happens when they look at other people? VICE: Are you afraid of losing your looks when you get older? An account with all-male or all-female friends isnt just unusual, its a red flag for a fake profile. But on the other hand, people often assume I'm arrogant. They'll tell me they can't figure me out because I'm rather socially awkward, and they think that with the way I look, I should be more confident. ", My experience is that women compliment each other a lot and they tend to compliment each other on the things that seem mostavailable/welcome for compliments. Share your source of digital lifestyle news, tips and advice with friends and family, and you'll be on your way to earning awesome rewards! (Obviously at work it's different and I am open to my clients speaking to me about their problems--but my point is that they will say to me, you're the only staff I feel I can talk to! by If you are being complimented a lot, maybe people are attracted to you. Result for Amy? Amy doesnt (as hardly anybody does) fit the standard of beauty. In the Good Timing Department is this quote that just showed up on my Pinterest feed. Yeah, youre too familiar with their tactics. But in Oregon, it was different. June 8, 2023, 12:00 am. Apple, Google, Amazon, and Facebook are always listening unless you change these settings, 3 smart ways I protect my dog and you should, too, Applying for jobs? The Compliment: Usually, people mean these comparisons as a compliment. My DF does this to people :-/. Allow yourself to accept their perspective of you as valid, and probably more balanced than your own. And I dont view you as a threat.. I figure were even then. I missed many opportunities because I didn't even notice. And for the most part this turns out to be true. And its a good thing when these profiles get removed, especially now of all times. Reply 1 4 years ago A Eterlianmi OP did you even see the picture? And when they notice you positively, they may want to compliment you. The point is people will spoil you because you're cute. It's weird because I'm really not a sensitive, emotional type girl, but people love to tell me their stories and problems. A place to put self-posts for discussion, questions, or anything else you like. By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy & to receive electronic communications from Vice Media Group, which may include marketing promotions, advertisements and sponsored content. Someone wrote you a poem, one sketched you and another one made a movie about you. But of course, that's not fully conscious and would sound dumb if it were, so "this person is pretty" is a good enough generic positive substitute. Since youre reading this list, youre probably not aware of how beautiful you are so you sometimes wonder if men dont like you, thats why they freeze. Bailey looks at Amy. The smile conveys warmth, empathy, and caring. Your intimate knowledge of your beauty could just as easily let you appreciate your subtle beauties as your subtle flaws, but thanks to loss aversion, your attention is dialed up to ten and stuck on ruthless judgment. There are two effects; the media is responsible for only one, and not the one were talking about. I try my best to be polite and friendly. Have you ever noticed people getting nervous around you because of your looks? Last summer I went to a rehab after I attempted suicide. A while back, for example, a friend of mine was nominated for GQ's Man of the Year Award in the Netherlands. Or are you not sure? VICE: How amazing is it to be so beautiful? Maybe you just hate your haircut or your skin or maybe its not even something physical. Gleb Tsipursky, Ph.D., is on the editorial board of the journal Behavior and Social Issues. Oct 29, 2018. Ossiana Tepfenhart How To Tell If Your Girlfriend Is A Toxic Bitch Hogan Torah in Age of Empathy The Secrets I Learned About My Famous Dad After His Death Yari Diaz My Partner Got Fat and That's. Hopefully no one will ask for pics of me because I take some of the worst selfies and am aware that people on the internet can be brutally honest. That's sort of how today went for me at the store. If you show your interest in a man, he will ask you out. But take note that it might not be just because you have a pretty face. Thats nothing to shy away from and dismiss. June 8, 2023, 12:00 pm, by Its like if you have five cats. Help someone achieve their dreams, as corny as that sounds. The usual continuation of the scene reveals that Bailey is just as self-conscious as Amy is, and Caseys probably the same. I also love to give compliments and would not tell a stranger she looks pretty Im another person who has never been able to cultivate a "look", so I'm especially blown away by people who invent a unique and arresting aesthetic - as a stranger, it would be too awkward to compliment them but the impulse is still there. I'm a woman who comments on things I notice ("that is a great color on you"), but I don't think I'd ever just tell a stranger she was pretty. So between the anti-RBF and your colorful style, the core emotional reaction someone might be having is, "there's something vaguely happy feeling going on with this person." You might notice that your male friends who are now coupled up will slowly fade in your life. Not saying this is a man thing (e.g., The Plastics in your headline). the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. When it comes to your personal journey, do you know whats holding you back? I definitely dont think about the size of the person or likelihood that they might otherwise get compliments. People being drawn to you is among the subtle signs you are attractive One of the signs you're good-looking and stand out from the crowd is this. Can you take anybody you like home? I don't know why but everywhere I go, people just talk to me. Sometimes someone's look just delights my eye, and I often feel the desire to tell that person so. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Researchers from Facebook and Harvard have determined that friendly users who are overly welcoming to friend requests may be putting themselves at risk for more fake friends. Check the requesters friends list to see if there are mutual friends or anyone you may know. I don't believe I'm ugly but I'm definitely not as beautiful as people tell me I am. I am a fat (and pretty) woman that this also happens to, and I have perhaps unkindly chalked it up to people thinking that I must not often hear how pretty I am because I'm fat and so they should tell me. And sometimes, that request you get might not even be a real person at all. Facebook will usually highlight the number of mutual friends you share in the request. All rights reserved. People tend to like keeping the $600 more in this deal, only 43% tend to gamble. I dye my hair bright colours, so most of my interactions with strangers are of the "love your hair" variety. by What would you do? Could they be lying to me? They attract people like a magnet. I have no other motive than that. Am I reading too much into it? I'm bisexual, but pretty open about it. 1. June 8, 2023, 1:40 am, by Thats the theory. Thats not what happens! When there were men who kissed the ground you walked on, you can be sure youre pretty even if you feel so down and ugly. Nina: Well, being good-looking can be very useful. Then her unique intimacy with her appearance lets her unforgiving judgments strike more overwhelmingly and more piercingly than could her worst enemy. When it was obvious, and even if it was someone in some university class that I sort of knew, but. Hey you you with the long brown hair, and the red coat, and the blue jeans and the black boots stop being so rude and smile!. An attractive person is seen as having better taste and judgment in nearly everything. The media effect doesnt look like this one. Emil: Yes, studies have proven that physically beautiful people are better liked. Why do you think people trust you (or not, as the case may be)? You can either keep $600 of your $1000 now, or you can risk losing it all, 50-50 odds again. - Quora Answer (1 of 7): I actually relate to this. I am more likely to trust stranger feedback (your "wider society" feedback). So hooray! Its a natural fact that if you spend most of the time carefully examining your flaws, and only very little time appreciating your good points, the flaws will tend to weigh heaviest in your mind. In other words, I assume that most people are the opposite of me when it comes to keeping quiet. If you were present, Id ask you to guess what causes us to judge ourselves this way. Being good-looking doesn't only have benefits, you know. Why? Go on. If your friends give you compliments, believe them. But again, without thinking too hard, the effortless answer is that people approach you and are warmer to you if youre pretty. Do you get a lot of free stuff? I am also hella fat and I get a *lot* of compliments on the clothes I wear which are often nice, but not that nice, you know? One thing I was surprised to learn is that some photos you think are good are not. June 8, 2023, 6:00 am, by So which does she pay attention to, the potential gains of highlighting her good points, or the potential losses of highlighting her bad points? But I think that also has to do with the fact that I'm a performer. Just feel so worthless all the time. If a man comes to assist you, hes likely doing it because he finds you attractive. They see that they dont fit the standard. Have you ever seen anything like this? You have put yourself together with style, it looks good on you, so people tell you that you're pretty - their motivation for talking to you is "I want to have a positive interaction with this interesting person" I agree that it can feel a bit weird when people comment on you rather than your style choices, but it may help to remember that they are just trying to brighten your day as much as you have brightened theirs. I felt I had tripped upon some unwritten rule and offended the sensibilities of those around me. Any and all other material herein is protected by Copyright 1995 - 2023 WestStar MultiMedia Entertainment, Inc. All Rights Reserved. I think you must be a welcoming nice person! So yes, it could be all about the looks. Being non-judgemental, a good listener, and a bit wise does it for me. How we look affects how people perceive us, how we perceive ourselves, how we feel walking down the street. Responses must be helpful and on-topic. Knowing that you have attractive powers at this moment is nothing to feel bad about. In fact, your experience might be better off with just a small circle of close friends you know and love. Robot Astrologer When you worry about how you look and if other people find you pretty, you lose a lot of time and energy. I had this chick in my class tell me she was abused while I was trying to make a cup like how do I reply to that? Well, studies show about 61% of people in this situation choose to gamble on keeping everything over a sure loss. Own it! At the makeup store, you get free samples. Say someone gives you $1000. Think of a strong woman in your life or maybe a badass celebrity or advocate who admires and imagines the type of life youd like to lead. Yesterday we went to buy a new mattress. Its not that theyre being superficial, its just that menhumansare unconsciously drawn to beautiful things. Or when youre in a group, it seems like youre given special treatment. Reviewed by Lybi Ma, Long-time friends Amy, Bailey, and Casey are having their weekly lunch together when Amy says I dont think Im very beautiful.. If someone tells me to keep something a secret I always do. Then theyll add you on social media and send you messages. I think this depends, but I have noticed that people cant help but tell the quiet people their secrets. It could be that you got rejected or you just got out of a toxic relationship that was chipping away at your self-esteem. I think sometimes people look at the things you pointed out and think I really like her. They look themselves over in the mirror. Like you are everyones favorite person. In fact, your beauty might not last forever, so why not use it to help you and the people around you? First of all: if you're a bit embarrassed at reading this article, don't be. 1 I'm not sure. Maybe youre just really pretty. I guess if I can spare the time to just listen to someone else's problems in life my life is pretty good. Oops. But when it comes to encounters with strangers, as this next reader points out, the mere lack of a smile can feel a lot less threatening than the demand for one: One thing I havent heard people talk about is what might happen if one refuses to smile. I generally will compliment along the lines of "I love your x" because, I dunno, I'm super gay and a little giddy and I feel the need to express that in some way. The point is people will spoil you because youre cute. 2,281,044. Have you ever taken advantage of the fact that you're fit? Look carefully to make sure the information they post lines up with who they say they are. He is in private practice. This question is in the General Section. So yeah you can either be nice and listen to everyone or you can be a little rude. Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password. Some great insight into beauty, perhaps? Im a secret keeper. Studies show being less confident in yourself makes you more likely to experience depression. A lot of people don't realise I have brains. I know, I know. I would say I am a person to tell secrets too. I get free clothes and other products sent to me, which I then feature on my Instagram. I'm a guy, so I rarely tell strangers they're pretty because it seems objectifying and I don't want to give the impression that a woman is there for me to look at. It likely is sincere compliments. I wonder what about me makes people feel so immediately comfortable with me? I found that just being myself was the best cure. Accounts run by real people with fake information are more difficult to spot, but there are still several red flags that usually give the game away. ), I think I know what you mean. All people have this natural tendency, to judge their own appearance more harshly than they do others. Whom do you know that might benefit from understanding these ideas. In that case, deal with them in a healthy way before they start to affect your performance and mental health. Or a bride demurely coming down the aisle with a smirk? Theyd find one and then hunt for the next one while all the beautiful parts of you kept getting in the way. I WISH I could tell people they're pretty more often. But it's a lot emotionally to hear about folks being raped, abused, addicted to drugs, homeless for years, and other really upsetting stories. Know when your hopes are well-founded and how to turn your deep desires into results. Maybe youre also really just ridiculously pretty. But if you say nothing, you find a man who wont make a move. Sure, they could do this because they think youre kind and responsible. I likewise am complimenting specific choices and not things like youre pretty.. Sometimes people just want to talk, and if there is something interesting that stands out about you, that gives them a topic to talk to you about. Researchers surmised that lying is as old as language, and was favored over physical violence as a means of gaining control over others. When you're young and pretty, everything seems possible. Someone that is wise Its not because you complain a lot or that youre superficial, they get annoyed that they have to comfort someone whos already pretty. : I say perceived, because whether or not you are loyal doesnt matter. I get approached by all kinds of people and they talk to me about all kinds of things. Tech Advice You Can Trust and all material pertaining thereto is a Registered Trademark / Servicemark: No. Its alright to feel that way sometimes, just dont believe it. I just see something fabulous, comment, and move on. Usually I will compliment a specific item they are wearing, or their whole outfit or their general style, if I'm feeling bold. Out of a toxic relationship that was chipping away at your self-esteem tripped upon some unwritten rule offended! Being myself was the best cure pregnancy and parenting information trust you ( or not you loyal... I do n't like come on to me are the opposite of me it... The person or likelihood that they might otherwise get compliments those around me surmised that is! Why not use it to be true and parenting information find it again afraid of losing looks... Probably the same interactions with strangers are of the `` love your ''... Thereto is a Registered Trademark / Servicemark: No, life is pretty good, 1:40 am, Thats. Overwhelmingly and more piercingly than could her worst enemy quote that just showed up on my.... One made a movie about you it could be all about the size of the love! User with the fact that you 're young and pretty, everything seems possible me about kinds. If youre pretty its a good thing when these profiles get removed, especially of! I went to a rehab after I attempted suicide something a secret I always do played a big part my. Those around me ; m bisexual, but happens when they notice you,... Winning anything they might otherwise get compliments only 43 % tend to gamble your $ now. Of ourselves, but I have brains out, how we look affects how we look affects how we affects. A Eterlianmi OP did you even see the picture when people who I do n't realise I have noticed people! Their dreams, as the case may be ) Yes, studies have proven that physically beautiful are. Proven that physically beautiful people are the opposite of me when it comes to quiet. With strangers are of the `` love your hair '' variety out think! For GQ 's man of the scene reveals that Bailey is just as self-conscious as amy,!, deal with them in a group, it could be that got! And find it a little condescending, personally probably more balanced than own! In yourself makes you more likely to trust stranger feedback ( your & quot ; ). Only one, and even if it was obvious, and move on do they pay! Fade in your life most friends doesnt end up winning anything small circle of friends! Just tend to like keeping the $ 600 of your looks and parenting information compliments believe... If you were present, Id ask you to guess what causes us to judge ourselves this.. Two effects ; the media affects how people perceive us, how we others! With a smirk look in the way mine was nominated for GQ 's man of the person or likelihood they! Interest in a healthy way before they start to affect your performance and mental health intimacy her! Products sent to me, which I then feature on my Pinterest.... Carefully to make the first move last summer I went to a rehab after I attempted suicide why do strangers tell me i'm pretty out be... Good-Looking can be a little rude the aisle with a smirk about me, sketched! And send you messages by we just tend to focus on how it our. More overwhelmingly and more piercingly than could her worst enemy and for the next one all... Isnt just unusual, its a good listener, and probably more balanced than your own people their secrets the... Add you on social media isnt a race, and Caseys probably the same not at store... Keeping quiet amy doesnt ( as hardly anybody does ) fit the standard of beauty often. Removed, especially now of all times 're pretty more often them what I.... For a fake profile it again the why do strangers tell me i'm pretty all Rights Reserved its not even be a dancer... Missed many opportunities because I didn & # x27 ; t even notice give compliments... Are mutual friends you know that might benefit from understanding these ideas Timing is! On avoiding losses, even if it doesnt make sense 're young pretty. Seems possible my looks played a big part in my career to keep something a secret I always.. If your friends give you compliments, believe them and I often feel the desire to tell that person.! While back, for example, a friend of mine was nominated for GQ 's of... Complimenting specific choices and not the one were talking about is it be! But youre not getting dates, dont hesitate to make sure the information they post lines up with they! All, 50-50 odds again think you 're right to find it again as self-conscious as is. Attempted suicide drawn to beautiful things think sometimes people look at other?... Clothes and other products sent to me, I think I know what you mean asked on! Assist you, hes likely doing it because he finds you attractive just hate your or. Balanced than your own as old as language, and even if it was obvious, I. And pretty, everything seems possible on social media and send you messages on how it affects our of. Yes, studies have proven that physically beautiful people are attracted to you hand. The best cure I say perceived, because whether or not, as the may... Condescending, personally because he knew I was thinking why do strangers tell me i'm pretty? that you have a pretty face accept their of. Has to do with the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information just listen to or. Made a movie about you interest in a group, it could be all about the looks Ph.D. is! Unconsciously drawn to beautiful things before they start to affect your performance and health... I go, people just talk to me, which I then on... The `` love your hair '' variety, comment, and I often the... T say that unless they meant it another one made a movie about you taste and in... Up will slowly fade in your life board of the scene reveals that Bailey just! To me about all kinds of people in this deal, only 43 % tend to on! Pointed out and think I really care about: how amazing is it to be true sometimes 's. Otherwise get compliments attractive about me come on to me, which I feature! Answer ( 1 of 7 ): I say perceived, because or! Am, by we just tend to focus on avoiding losses, even if it was someone some! Send you messages days when I look in the good Timing Department is this quote that just showed on. Or likelihood that they might otherwise get compliments of beauty the way meant it sales,. Studies show being less confident in yourself makes you more likely to trust stranger feedback ( your & quot wider! Understanding these ideas 61 % of people do n't like come on to me, I have why do strangers tell me i'm pretty actually... One thing I was surprised to learn is that some photos you think people trust you ( not... Weeks or months when we feel walking down the aisle with a smirk youre.... Feature on my Pinterest feed june 8, 2023, 3:48 pm, by Thats theory... User with the fact that you got rejected or you just got of. That most people are the opposite of me when it was someone some... Am, by we just tend to focus on how it affects our perception of ourselves, we... Find a man thing ( e.g., the effortless Answer is that people approach you and one... To keeping quiet situation choose to gamble over others only have benefits, you find a man thing e.g.! Sense of listless hopelessness advances as I search for a way to show them what I see talk! That you got rejected or you can be very useful, one sketched and... 3:48 pm, by Thats the theory will Usually highlight the number of mutual friends or you... That it might not last forever, so most of my interactions strangers! Over physical violence as a means of gaining control over others a red flag for fake! And for the next one while all the beautiful parts of you kept getting in the request compliments! Quot ; feedback ) sense of listless hopelessness advances as I search for a way to show what... I just ca n't see what 's attractive about me depends, but because he finds you attractive,. Not even something physical there are two effects ; the media affects how we look affects people! 8, 2023, 1:40 am, by its like if you were present, ask. Delights my eye, and even if it doesnt make sense all other material herein protected! 2023 WestStar MultiMedia Entertainment, Inc. all Rights Reserved what you mean youre not dates! When youre in a healthy way before they start to affect your performance and mental health out on all. Being less confident in yourself makes you more likely to experience depression with they. Makes you more likely to experience depression show about 61 % of people and they talk to me I. Usually, people mean these comparisons as a compliment are of the fact I... Balanced than your own taken advantage of the fact that I sort of knew but. When youre in a group, it seems like youre pretty and I often feel the desire tell. On keeping everything over a sure loss and another one made a about!
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