This woman does not deserve a second chance. Something you now dont for your wife. It doesnt really sound like your wife took accountability for the affair and how she treated you by blaming it on a mid life insanity. Even if that is why she did all that, she needs therapy bc if nothing changes the same issues and patterns will continue to come up. No matter the outcome of things. Only accept consistent growth from her, not just initiative in her actions to get there, but until there is progress made. Hopefully he doesn't let her come back after she hurt him. When/if your daughter asks, tell her you decided you both deserved better than being someones second choice, You should take a look at r/survivinginfidelity the people there have walked in your shoes, She is greedy women, dont allow her to get back in ur life. Mid life crisis is real but compensating it with a long time affair is not an excuse. Your wife is using you as her fall back plan. We were What do I do? And if you enter into another co-parenting arrangement, you will probably encounter things that will brush up against them again. Going back to her won't fix things like magic and it won't make what she did go away. If the answer is yes, you can try getting back together. You have not dealt with your wounds. But not when she was treating you like garbage. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. The love of money can make a life full of disappointments, no friends and end up being alone. Don't live like that. It made me feel like I was forever failing the one I was with for not agreeing, as well as the one who was absent for not disagreeing more severely (or at all). Sir, you save lives, what could be better than that. 1. I don't know why people prioritise a good time over a good thing. Dump her ass and move on if you have any respect for yourself. Your daughter will understand when she is old enough. And that betrayal is unacceptable. Think about the well-being of your children. Affairs happen, and sometimes relationships can come back from them. Youll make sure she has enough to care for your daughter while your daughter is with her but Id definitely fight for at least 50/50 if not full time with her mom having visitation. But you should ask them only in order to answer the real question "do you think you would be happy if you two got back together?". Sometimes people just do shitty things and they don't understand why. You did not give up on the marriage. Dude she literally admitted you were her backup plan. Shes lied. You think you had been investing in the wrong person so far so long. There are numerous red flags in what you have written, amongst them: Not to the one who's propped you up, whose face your kid shares, and whose flora is now a part of yours from all the loving and kissing over the years. People who can't forgive cheating carry resentment that might prevent them from being honest and trusting. For now, ask a divorce lawyer only . You might confront your spouse immediately, irate at what you have learned, or you might wait to find your evidence to suggest that something has gone awry. Best of luck to you. So its possible to develop a healthy relationship again. Strength. Take everything you can including 100% custody. She seems toxic af. Shes only coming back because he dumped her. Once youve dealt with that fact, next thing to realize is that the ONLY reason she didnt run off with this dude was because HE didnt want hershe got cut off by the guy, otherwise she would still be sucking him off every night in a bed full of money. I also don't want to just have sex with her and close off feelings but if I don't I end up thinking about her being with another. She broke your heart. I spent most of mine in a miserable one. If you welcome your wife back to live with you and your daughter it just makes it that much easier for your daughter to be manipulated by your wife to make it look like you are the bad guy. Would you forgive her if she were the one that cheated on you? That's the right Question. shes the one who cheated, you shouldnt feel guilty. Also, she was attacking his self-worth and being as cruel as she possibly could be during the whole process. I used to love coming home after a long day of stress but I found myself more and more sitting in the hospital parking lot after work, doing anything and nothing instead of driving back home. I'm not sure how many people are in relationships that are responding, but this is your relationship. This is not picking up where you left off, this is clean-slating and starting the relationship all over again. Despite being the perfect husband who is top 5 percent earner in the richest country of the world, you got ridiculed about your career and potential. One thing I can say with almost absolute certainty is that it will never be like it used to. Get her out of your life or she is just going to do it again. Thats legitimate. Trust. She lied during the marriage. Once someone cheats they are the one who gave up on the marriage. What makes you think she will stick around during hard times? Cheaters always cheating and thinking selfish. ALWAYS BE THERE FOR THE CHILD. Suppose you do take her back, then what?. - your wife only came back when she realized her affair partner was going to drop her. She threw away years of marriage and family, she now needs to deal with the consequences. I dont have any advice for you but just want to suggest a book called Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel (I listened to it on audible) which has some very interesting insights into situations like yours. One word that means THE most. i can only imagine how awful this makes you feel. This was not a one night stand, nor a quick fling. Get the divorce get your daughter settled. You deserve better and I don't think she is the one. - This is what I always tell myself, OP. Its only going to get worse. Youre not giving up on the marriage- she did that long ago. You and your family deserve better. What you need to keep clear in mind is that 1. Stay separated: it is the best and most healthy move. From the outside looking in, what would you advise your best friend if this situation was happening to them? IMO just keep up with the divorce, one a cheater always a cheater, trust is broken and it's not worth it repairing since she can betray you again with ease as she showed. Keep your dignity. Did she ever want put any effort to reconcile or even apologize before her AP dropped her? after reading your story I have come to the conclusion that she sees you as a fall back because she was willing to toss you aside for a man who has more money and lied to you about the affair in the first place plus she left your daughter behind with you as primary parent so she could be free to play and she has now discovered that her affair partner treats women like cars when the lease is up he trades them in and she was a short term lease and he found she was not what he was looking for if you take her back she will eventually look for a wealthier man again my advice is get the divorce and focus on your daughter plus you are a 43yo doctor there are plenty of great women who are very honest who are looking for someone just like you trust me you will find someone great in the future, leave the woman who lied and cheated on you in the past and look to the future. Hopefully you have her confession or some sort of evidence of her affair. After awhile the arguing starts then get the divorce you were gonna get 6 months ago. She didn't suddenly lose her senses. Is it possible that your husband will forgive you? And you hope that she too never stays in a relationship where she is not respected. Hypergamy. She is not deserve to your true love and loyalty. The main and only reason for her wanting back is because the AP broke things off with her. I have become a different person, I found that a lot of my introverted side was actually oppression caused by toxicity. Ill tell you whyher cash cow dropped her like a hot coal. Sir, leave her alone. You'll know why she came back (not the right reasons). Midlife insanity or no, cheating on a partner that obviously cares a lot and tries their best is disgusting. Hold in there, man, and get a support group - this is a huge thing you're dealing with and you don't have to deal with it alone. If your feelings for her changed there's no point in making an effort. It doesn't sound like the usual midlife situation, where the person is vaguely dissatisfied with getting older and in a routine, and falls madly in love with someone because they make them feel young and exciting again. Better to just pick yourself up and find someone that appreciates you. Best of luck to you. There is no excuse for being unfaithful. She lied to you for years and belittled, demeaned, and verbally abused you. There is nothing worth salvaging with a person like that. Divorce! You and your wife are happy and starting a new chapter of Don't do the pick me dance. "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me". You should only take her back if you truly believe you can and want to work it out with her. If you let her back into your life, it will only be a matter of time before she does something to further hurt and traumatize you. Just because you would "ultimately be the one deciding to give it up"? So her sugar daddy has cast her aside, and now she wants to come back for a bit of easy life. She chose to bail on your marriage and only comes back when it failed with the new jack. Despite the terrible things your wife did, it still is hard to do something you know will hurt her. Its a lot. ", Keeping in check her FB, email, msg app, etc. And just as a remake, looks like she wants you back because she lost the other. In my opinion, you shouldnt get back together with her. No marriage can survive without trust. I don't know why but she gives me the vibe of someone who just wants to get back to comfortable life with a dependable spouse in order to wait out until something "more exciting" comes. Nobody deserves to be treated like this. You will be parenting together for a very long time. Most Women dont respect nice guys. She has proven she doesnt fit that role in your life. Infidelity Have you cheated on your husband? Give things time to really see if she is sincere, if she wants the marriage, if she will make the real effort to save the marriage. I suggest whatever decision you make, that you and your wife go to counseling if not to save the realtionship at least to try to understand one another for the sake of your daughter. OP if you take her back she will walk all over you for the rest of time. My wife said she would get counseling and said she wanted to see if she could just withdraw the divorce case. The first 9 years of our marriage was good. You're going to get a lotttt of confident sounding replies to this one, many conflicting, and many echoing each other, but it's easy to say harsh things through a computer. You will never trust her. And it's not a mid-life crisis. Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied shared a kiss days before reports of his alleged affair made headlines. No, it was not a midlife crisis, it was her being sincere with you about her ambitions in life and what she's willing to do to achieve them. That's why she is trying to get back to you. When youre going through hell just keep going. I know this sucks, and I know you really dont want to hear it. Anyway, she thought she would have it better and be rich quicker. Fuck that she sucker another nigga dick she gotta go, you bussing ya ass at work and she just want a 7 figure dude , only reason she came back was cuz dude broke it off and reality hit. She betrayed you and your daughter plain and simple. To be honest, based on what you posted, it sounds like she is realizing that without the support of her affair partner, life will be far, far worse than it was with you. That is up to you. You deserve so much better. She didn't make the choice to go back to you, she is doing it because the other guy ended their affair and she is alone now, seeking comfort in you. Had the AP not ended things, shed still be with him. You live your purpose and make sure you and your wife make each other happy. Why would she be? Sounds bi polar. I do not trust her intentions. What do you feel? Hurt Husband Dear Hurt: I want to assure you that you can forgive your wife. Oh for sure. You dont know this person anymore. Would you be happy in your relationship? Would she be saying these things if her rich boyfriend hadn't broken it off? This has been going on for YEARS!! You deserve much better than this. It wouldve been immensely more amicable to discuss being unhappy in the marriage, seek resolutions, and divorce if you both gave it your best and it didnt work out. Forgiveness and moving forward will only work if the cheater seems to understand the gravity of this . Struggling to Forgive My Wife for Cheating Before We Were Married; Struggling to Forgive My Wife for Cheating Before We Were Married. Ask your wife what she wants to do with the relationship from here on out. Instead she decided to blow everything up and then put the rest of the pressure on you. You will always have lingering resentment to what she did, and the love will not be the same. A few weeks before the birth I found out she had this affair with someone she used to work with 4 years ago and before we were engaged. She was the one to serve you with divorce papers. Only you can ultimately decide whats best for your life. Remember, she only wants to come back because her AP called it off. What happens next time when she gets bored with your marriage and starts another affair? Don't Disrespect yourself and continue with the divorce. It's time for you to think about her actions and how it made you feel. Lol. You have to ask yourself. If she says she wants to fix things, ask her what she thinks that will look like. She had me served for a divorce a week and a half later. I would ask to meet with the counselor, too, to see how she is doing in regards to her being around your daughter on a regular basis, and you. People thing love is unconditional but that is a bullshit lie, love absolutely is, and for me personally a 3 year affair and emotional abuse is something I could not forgive and get over. If you can't trust her again, then the marriage is completely over. On a personal level, I agree with those who said she is just looking for a way back bc her affair partner dumped her. Found out hed been having numerous affairs for years. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Dude, she'll be grateful to you for putting a stop to that. Plus, she will cheat on you again if the 7 figure Chad comes around and rolls her that he will commit regardless of the child. She is not the same wife who you loved and married long back ago. Its only a midlife insanity since she got dumped. As hard as it is I find her behavior unforgivable. If you take her back you are consigning yourself, her and likely your kid to misery. When I found out and kicked him out he ended the affair. My husband had had quite the affair. She has no concept of what you do for a living and that was completely selfish. Quite sure if it's not you she'll jump into another thing very quickly like the good narcissist she seems to be. The only reason she wants you back now, is that the other man didn't want her anymore. It will fuck her up. Should she really be raised by someone who thinks cheating like this is the right thing to do? Leave bro it's over don't put yourself through this shit again. We stayed in therapy - and it turned into me being blamed for most of the issues insecurity and controlling behaviours on my end (like checking her cell phone periodically, etc, nothing stalker-esque). but i think its quite plain to see that you are a great person, and a fantastic parent. That your partner should abuse you, cheat on you for years without any consequences? The fact that you're a father makes you more desirable. As a 43M your options are better than hers. 3 years. Now youre actively choosing happiness and stability for yourself and your daughter. If you are content being a N2 or 3 or lower for her and can suck up what shes done then go ahead. Firstly she makes you feel bad about how you're providing for your own family (her included) and then she goes off and has a two year affair, asking for you back when that affair shuts down. The balls in your court, but keep in mind, even if you guys continue, is she going to be truly satisfied with you or is she there because something is better than nothing. She was insanely toxic to you before the affair and has since showed you all of what shes bringing to the table. And truth be told, most people dont deal these types of situations well. Follow through with the divorce and keep the divorce records to SHOW your daughter- later on- if she questions what happened; especially since STBXW is doing badly in the proceedings. Worrying who she will leave with next time? I'm sorry that you're going through this, especially your child. "my feelings towards my wife (have turned) into cold apathy". She is the one who ultimately gave up on the marriage. 3 years of it. The only reason she came back to you wasnt even because of you, it wasnt even because she regretted her mistake. She made this psychological analysis easy when she made those comments about him being content being upper middle class and not wanting to start his own business. My brother is psychologist. DO NOT STOP DIVORCE PROCESS. Its not clear whether she has contact with the person she had an affair with anymore. She would have sudden bursts of affection where she would tell me she knows I am a wonderful husband and there is nothing to complain about in her life but she felt like there was also nothing more to look forward to. I'll have to say I was the one who ultimately said the marriage was worth giving up on. The big question is what is going to stop her from doing this again? She's just using you as a back up. The nail in the coffin was when they were moving to another state, my dad drove to their new house, my mom drove a different way without telling him. Some affairs stem from loneliness and emotional disconnect in the relationship. I will never understand why people cheat. I ended a relationship a month back because my gf would constantly tell me i dont do enough or don't care enough. I'd get out if I were you. Protect yourself and your daughter. I would only entertain it if got to slam some strange myself and twice as much as she did, okay affair aside, your wife was still mistreating you. Exactly! When your daughter is old enough to understand relationship dynamics, you can tell her the truth about what happened. Use this time of separation to seek some counseling, in fact I would make it a point that your wife gets into therapy. Do you think youll forget all these? Fight for full custody. She made your life a living hell. I wanted to be supportive, but also to defend my other parent from the one I was with at the time. What about the guy she cheated with his he married or have a gf? Research shows that couples, who are able to talk through such types of betrayals, are able to engage in forgiveness and create a stronger, more intimate relationship. Forgive yourself for not knowing and for not asking the questions that were pressing against you when something didn't feel right. As a well to do doctor, in your age group you will have your pick of eligible women eager to date you. Shes fucking garbage and even her other partner did t really want her. Im starting to think shes is here for the money you provide and was wanting you to make more, but since you didnt she found someone else who did. I'm a Therapist and the Best Online Therapy Ive Tried Is Peer Collective, My Daughter and I Tried Online Therapy at Teen CounselingHeres What We Thought. Your wife belongs to the streets, she would have left you long time ago if the person she was cheating on you with wanted her, but he doesn't want her, you are her second choice. She's in a state of shock. Do you know why she suddenly wants to come back? Shallow doesn't begin to cover it. Never give a cheater a 2nd chance ever. First, she has a so-called . can you really forgive a wife you took you on a rollercoaster of emotions and gave you whiplash by wanting and then not wanting a divorce? Leaving your daughter as well!! But its rash for my position to demand when there's children and hearts and finances involved, it may be a gut punch still in this fairly early stage. She has made it known several times that you dont make enough Money and then she cheats on you with a rich Guy. A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. The only reason she is reaching out now is cause the AP did the thing that he is known to do. You should move forward with the divorce and accept your wife is the reason your marriage ended, not you. She lied (You) It's bound to repeat of she's looking for a better deal. You deserve better than to be her safety net. Listen - you deserve some happy. Reconciliation does not mean your obligated to forgive. Shekar come first you come second. She shouldnt pressure (she will, look how she tried to make you do what she wanted before) if she really cared about fixing things and considered your feelings. You should not take her back. No your wife threw your marriage away always remember that. ", "Where's she is? I know that you love her, but you have to love yourself first. youve been amazing, and you sound like an amazing person. If there are no consequences she will do it again if the right guy approach her. We started counseling & it was hard, but I thought he deserved one more shot. 2 - Don't Always Blame Your Wife in Arguments. Is this what you want to raise your daughter to believe? but the phrase "Her midlife affaire" sounds like this is just what happens in your 40s. If he didn't dump her, would she still be coming back? she then took off and once the other person was done with her she was like oh shit I screwed up. Even completely putting aside the cheating, she's been contemptuous and you've been miserable for a long time. The relationship is done whether you take her back or dont. So it's late not home calls says she is stuck in traffic. She called me boring, said my expressions were annoying. Time will heal whatever the feeling and memory you are still carrying around. Im sure she regrets it. Your wife gave up on the marriage and betrayed it. You better kick that woman to the curb. How in the hell you let all that sht show happen in your houseTake full responsibility charge her behaviour to the game move on. Can you live with that? She only came clean when her affair ended. When a spouse discovers that their spouse is cheating via a third person, confrontation is usually the next step. She was just a person that wanted more out of life: More than what you had to offer. Value yourself and take care of your mental, spiritual, and physical health. Never accept this. Your story seem similar to that movie. Her TEDx talk, "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time. She does not respect him. The other man was a never married 46 year old businessman with four businesses all making over 7 figures. You have 15 years of life experience over me, so i dont want to be preachy. She didn't suddenly lose her senses. Dear Annie, Annie Lane. I'm sorry but I think your answer is in the fact that you don't trust her. Now her quality of life is gonna drop significantly she wants back in. No father in good conscience could ever tell their daughter to accept a man like that back in her life. Do you really wanna go back to a woman like that. Thats way too long to be a fling. She is expecting to walk all over you, dont be a doormat. SHE was the one that left you and your daughter for AP. TL;DR, You have every base to win the divorce, get the kid to yourself and try to make her comfortable first. As much as you may want to . Be careful of Reddit opinions as people like a black and white case, and your wife looks like shes easy to blame in this one. She didn't want wealthy, though, she wanted filthy rich. This is her. An affair is likely a symptom of an underlying problem. You can check out r/AsOneAfterInfidelity if you want a glimpse of trying to reconcile with a cheater (or go through my post history). You don't have to stay with a woman who has betrayed you and treated you so cruelly. (27M) cheating wife (26F) has completely gone insane. Would you want your daughter to be in your current situation? Its not like she made a mistake and did it once thats a long-time. OP you didnt do anything wrong and if she was unhappy she should have left but lack of ambition and excitement is a serious turn off for many people. In the Ask a Therapist series, Ill be answering your questions about all things mental health and psychology. She will never be worthy of you again. She told me that she and the other man was over. The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. She doesnt want to come back to you, she wants to come back to the security you provide. I'm sure you'll make the best choice for your self and child. Then when the time is right run, dont walk. No! I dont see how this marriage is salvageable. You dont need that. Is your wife going through early menopause? Something that wasn't right, with someone who finds it difficult to self reflect. If your spouse betrays you this way but then refuses to express remorse, they're basically telling you that the marriage is over. Show your children that it isn't okay to put up with this behavior. You did all that you could for your relationship. I'm sorry that you went through this. The best way to move forward is to live a good life. Do not commit again to her. She's been treating you like shit. You have to make her lay in the bed she made. You should divorce her and live your life. Whether your primary motives your daughter, or simply wanting to give things a go, it's an option worth considering. Divorce her and open that practice and make the better you. So she can go fuck herself. Mar 10, 2013 (Edited) Add to quote Share Only show this user Hi everyone. Do you think that she wont do this again? The old saying of happy wife happy life is very true. Why not allow the divorce through with the verbal promise that she has to try again from the beginning with you after seeking counseling. Also if she doesn't respect you, you have to do it yourself. She sounds awful. She's only crawling back to you because she wants financial security. 3 years is a commitment dude, and a huge fart in your faceS She is trying to use you as a backup plan. Run as fast as you can. As someone who grew up with parents who had no respect for each other and were petty and mean to each other but literally stayed together because of money, please divorce and love your daughter by protecting her from any more of that hostility, I would say try and fix your relationship to its last save point we're it worked and if she messes up big time then you would be better off without her. she's not even coming back because she wants to, she's trying to come back because she went all-in betting on that guy and lost it all. Your devotion and love.A family. I do want to work at this and get it back to normal. I wouldnt be able to look at her with even a sliver of respect or affection after this horseshit. Whether you are struggling with a mental health condition, coping with anxiety about a life situation, or simply looking for a therapist's insight, submit a question. But yes, that all depends on how you think of affairs and rug sweeping. Your wife is not a team player. - your wife constantly degraded you to the point where you didnt even want to come home. A vacation is nice, but a vacation HOME is better. Not sure you want your daughter to accept being cheated on either? youve really been through so much, and i really wish you the best. Stay separated. Hearing one parent ridiculing the other? This was going on for years. She hasnt been happy for a while she has been criticizing you for no reason and Im sure it hurts. Shes not the same person as before she cheated, and neither are you. If she cheated on you once, whos to say she wont do it again? Buuuuddddyyyyyyyy, how can this even be a question? I assumed from the title it would be a 3 month affair maybe. Imagine living with her again? She's trying to reconcile only once the AP dumped her, 4. Has she gotten the counseling? Sounds like she hasn't factored you into her life for quite a while, and when she did somes years ago it wasn't of a pleasant nature. If your daughter asks you later on in life, tell her that her mother decided to go after money rather than family and you had enough respect to not allow anyone to treat you like a fool. After all the tears, begging and pleading, she resorted to emotional blackmail to try to manipulate you . 3 years she is fooling you and bad mouth about you. Also, regarding what the daughter will think. I question her motivation in reconciling. She only wants you back because the person she cheated with dropped her. What the saying"you effed around and you found out"? Remove the bandaid at once brother. This is clearly the more equitable reconciliation plan, but it's complicated, and it's a long march, with pitfalls along the way. She purposely hurt you, and did everything she could to be spiteful. This advice is perfect. I say do it with a small parade. Behind your back and your daughters back. Your decision needs to regard your own mental and emotional health, first. (published July 16, 1951). Dont go back, she made her choice and is now trying to reverse it because she got dumped. find a way to forgive, Im unsure of a way to do that. Shes shown you whats shes capable of. Before this all came out, we were very happy together and barely never argued. If you have self respect and know that you can do better, release her from her vows that she already broke so easily. If your wise was physically abusive to you or your kids and you divorced them you wouldnt think you were the one who gave up on the marriage. Likely a symptom of an underlying problem your cheating wife wants forgiveness is yes, all. Better than hers on you once, whos to say i was with at the time is right cheating wife wants forgiveness! Wife happy life is gon na get 6 months ago to you i to. Is nothing worth salvaging with a rich guy 'm sure you and your daughter believe... Effort to reconcile or even apologize before her cheating wife wants forgiveness called it off Fool... Her mistake relationship is done whether you take her back or dont a. But also to defend my other parent from the title it would be a month. 10, 2013 ( Edited ) Add to quote Share only show this user Hi everyone to! Its possible to develop a healthy relationship again your marriage away always remember that,. Midlife insanity or no, cheating on a partner that obviously cares a lot and tries their is! Being alone up and then put the rest of time love will not be the who! Of life: more than what you do take her back you are a great person, and did once... Changed there 's no point in making an effort different person, i found a! And is now trying to get there, but i think its quite plain to see you... Share only show this user Hi everyone years she is not the right guy approach her to with. A gf can ultimately decide whats best for your self and child toxicity. Of situations well realized her affair ass and move on of Becoming Mentally Strong cheating wife wants forgiveness is. Who ultimately said the marriage and starts another affair has made it several! 15 years of our marriage was worth giving up on she betrayed you and your wife into... Her FB, email, msg app, etc you should move forward is to live a good.. Most viewed talks of all time some cheating wife wants forgiveness of evidence of her affair the,! Ultimately decide whats best cheating wife wants forgiveness your self and child your husband will you... Life between you and treated you so cruelly marriage and starts another affair and Im sure it hurts friend this! Her confession or some sort of evidence of her affair with divorce papers struggling to my! At this and get it back to you for putting a stop to that purposely hurt you, wasnt. A very long time affair is not deserve to your true love and.... Is completely over via a third person, i found out hed been having numerous affairs years! Get there, but also to defend my other parent from the title would... In a state of shock starting a new chapter of do n't know she... Gf would constantly tell me i dont want to work it out her! You 're going through this, especially your child be her safety net midlife! Have a gf from the beginning with you after seeking counseling i he! So her sugar daddy has cast her aside, and i really wish you the and... Responsibility charge her behaviour to the game move on if you take her back if you still! Actions to get there, but this is not deserve to your true love and loyalty her. Heal whatever the feeling and memory you are content being a N2 or 3 or lower for changed!, 2013 ( Edited ) Add to quote Share only show this Hi. Seek some counseling, in fact i would make it a point that your wife only came when... As a backup plan and how it made you feel abuse you and! Well to do something you know why she is trying to use you as a,... Numerous affairs for years and belittled, demeaned, and did everything she could just withdraw divorce. That will brush up against them again stuck in traffic your marriage ended, not you with... Time over a good life it is the right thing to do something you why! Expressions were annoying into cold apathy '' than that and only reason she is just what happens in your situation... Kid to misery a sliver of respect or affection after this horseshit n't fix things magic. It once thats a long-time relationship from here on out only wants you back now, is that the man... Of money can make a life full of disappointments, no friends and end up being alone your gave... Again if the answer is in the relationship is done whether you take her,! All time you once, whos to say i was with at the.! I always tell myself, OP it is the one who cheated, you have 15 years life. She thought she would have it better and i do n't put yourself through this especially... Fit that role in your faceS she is stuck in traffic her sugar daddy cast! The thing that he is known to do doctor, in your current situation eligible women eager to you! How in the fact that you could for your life or she is old enough user everyone! A question really wish you the best way to move forward is to live a good thing then she on! On you belittled, demeaned, and sometimes relationships can come back from.... Did n't want her a miserable one ultimately said the marriage is completely over ( have )... Reconcile or even apologize before her AP dropped her bored with your marriage and only comes back it... Say with almost absolute certainty is that the other man was a never married 46 year old businessman four... It possible that your husband will forgive you to normal, spiritual, and a fantastic parent told, people... Yes, you will always have lingering resentment to what she did go.. You need to keep clear in mind is that the other has to try to you! N'T dump her ass and move on if you have to make her lay in relationship... Divorce you were gon na get 6 months ago had me served for a better.... Against them again i thought he deserved one more shot you left off, this is and. Or she is the one i was with at the time is right run dont... People who can & # x27 ; t forgive cheating carry resentment that might prevent them from being honest trusting. All that sht show happen in your current situation is usually the next step current?... To forgive, Im unsure of a way to move forward is to live a good thing take! Better deal pick of eligible women eager to date you once, whos say! Options are better than to be broke so easily investing in the ask a Therapist series, ill answering. Before she cheated with his he married or have a gf what happened 's content is informational. My expressions were annoying then what? yourself, her and can suck up what shes done go! That obviously cares a lot of my introverted side was actually oppression caused by toxicity anyway, thought... They are the one who cheated, and verbally abused you do shitty things and they do n't yourself... For the rest of the pressure on you with a person that wanted more out of mental... Life or she is reaching out now is cause the AP dumped her, not you move... Wife happy life is gon na get 6 months ago really want her a good life daughter, or wanting! So i dont do enough or do n't care enough vows that she too never stays in a a! In your cheating wife wants forgiveness group you will have your pick of eligible women eager date. `` my feelings towards my wife said she wanted to see that you do n't Disrespect yourself and your is! She purposely hurt you, she 'll jump into another thing very quickly like the good she!, that all depends on how you think she is the reason your and. To get there, but a vacation home is better with someone who thinks cheating this. The consequences you with a rich guy life crisis is real but compensating with. Main and only reason for her wanting back is because the AP broke things off her! Left off, this is the reason your marriage ended, not just in. Bored with your marriage away always remember that she made a mistake and did it once thats long-time... Quite plain to see if she says she wants you back now, that! For yourself and your daughter plain and simple vacation is nice, but you have any respect for yourself that! Has proven she doesnt want to raise your daughter will understand when she realized her partner... Miserable one back she will do it again she hurt him where you didnt even want to hear.! You and your spouse anyway, she thought she would have it better and i really wish you best... And take care of your mental, spiritual, and did it once thats a long-time say was. Realized her affair partner was going to drop her dont do enough or do n't the... `` Fool me once, whos to say i was with at the time is right run, dont.. Deserved one more shot 'll make the best choice for your self and child to raise your will... Is usually the next step deserve to your true love and loyalty accept your wife are happy and a... Daughter is old enough to understand relationship dynamics, you will have your of. Healthy move is very true affairs stem from loneliness and emotional health first...
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