She sits in the office down the hall." ", Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job. Disarming an unwanted question with a question of your own completely changes the dynamic and helps shift you away from either a defensive or a combative position. Learn more about Stack Overflow the company, and our products. I know its not necessarily because you think Im a terrible person, or because youre judging meyou just dont know any better, really., Generally speaking, if you have kids, you have someone to watch over you beyond your golden years.. She immediately squealed, "Oh my God, but you're such a baby! ', "That way, you've made a point that is hard to argue with and hopefully made the person feel good too, with the compliment. To you a Lord I lift my soul. : Stories About Divorce, Dating, and Saying I Do. How many numbers can I generate and be 90% sure that there are no duplicates? When it comes to humans, Dolly Parton is in a category of her own. ", 5. Throughout her career spanning. We just state the number. When we first knew were not going to have a baby at all, we were devastated. Right yet. Choosing my career now and working towards these goals are things that I want for myself. During these uncertain times, dont forget to make your feelings known. So, if you don't want people to notice your stilted English, it is far better to use How old are you?. The Wall August 6, 2020 by Answer Wall When someone asks me what's your favorite color, I have to. However, staying prepared, asking questions, and having open conversations can help you both find a sense of peace and much-needed comfort in the end. If you need help, ask for it. "It's always easier to avoid difficult questions by redirecting the conversation. Generally, when someone asks that question, they are indeed older and are seeking to stun you with the actuals for their own self-gratification. Our go-to is, Oh were not done having fun yet. It was uncomfortable for everyone involved, so we stopped doing it. Voluntarily choosing not to have kids goes against society so much that it seems to shock some people. It has been my practice that if someone is in search of such a compliment, then I will happily oblige. The older coworker responded, "Oh yes, I walked by and saw you in there, and I was like, wow, I didn't know they started letting twelve-year-olds work here!". Maura Healey is Stockpiling Mifepristone, Over $2 Million Raised for Family of Ralph Yarl. Ask your date to share what they are looking for as well to determine if the two of you are compatible. What is the best way to set up multiple operating systems on a retro PC? Photo by Sarah Ruhullah on Unsplash; Canva Witty Comebacks to Questions About Your Age "How old are you?" This ancient question never gets old! Just curious. In fact,Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of"Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job," saysit's discriminatory, and your response can have a significant impact on the outcome of your interview. To you, oh Lord, I my soul. ()! Open conversation or not, there are some thoughts one should generallyavoid saying to someone who is dying. Here are some examples of ways other people have answered questions about their family status, from a variety of perspectives and experiences: When Blackstone receives questions about why she doesnt have kids, her favorite response is: I dont have any kids, but one thing that Im really passionate about is and then shell share something that she thinks might be a point of shared interest, like traveling or a particular hobby. This article discusses some of the well-known LGBTQ+ identities, strategies that can help . When talking to your loved one, focus on their needs. Where it comes becomes particularly relevant for men is in this idea of carrying on the family name, she explains. The best way for you to start feeling better is to take care of yourself, recognize your needs and not worry about the needs of others. . Small gestures, such as holding their hand or rubbing their back may feel relaxing or comfortingto some. The best answers are voted up and rise to the top, Not the answer you're looking for? ', "If you decline to answer, then you must simply make a joke about yourself, because you do not want to appear rude. English Language Learners Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for speakers of other languages learning English. 28 "I'll explain in a second.". In Judd Apatow's 2012 film This Is 40, Leslie Mann's character pretends she's turning thirty-nine and later gets caught lying about her birth year on paperwork at her doctor's office. What legacies do you want to leave behind? I found a friend in NJ and he doesnt stop texting me. But that led to extremely awkward conversations with the other person just backpedaling like crazy. This website stores data such as cookies to enable essential site functionality, as well as marketing, personalization, and analytics. vs. "How old do you think is Steve?". Merritt Whitley is a creative copywriter at A Place for Mom. If I get pushback, I say, "I don't need to justify my choice." .While I'm childfree by choice, I know so many people who are . Wuhan . People do, but not this question. Accept their love and support and interest. But you should know that I do feel confident in that I can contribute a great deal to your firm with my level of experience and maturity. Adopt a consulting mindset. So I've been thinking about how I will respond the next time I'm asked for my pronouns. Dont forget tonurture yourself during this time, too. : Stories About Divorce, Dating, and Saying I Do: I am choosing to be selfish now so that I can be selfless later. Im the Answer Wall. People often approach death by making sure their life had significance, says Doka. And they're letting you present to clients!". You cant convince these people no matter what you do. Settle in. tmux: why is my pane name forcibly suffixed with a "Z" char? But is declining to answer itself an insult? People often ask this question to spark conversation or get to know someone better. Got any recommendations? For a couple who has fertility issues, this is the best way [for us] to add humor while politely responding to this touchy and painful question. Above all, do your best to remain authentic, supportive, and understanding. ", Marsha Hudnall, dietitian, nutritionist and president of weight-management program Green Mountain at Fox Run. We may earn a commission from links on this page. What are the most important lessons that life taught you? "May I ask, are you concerned about how my skill set or education will apply? Fill in the blank with these tangent phrases. A colleague introduced me to another, older coworker, and said, "Nisha is our new social media manager. I have some human acolytes assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in ONeill Library. Theres lots of evidence to show that its really women that the pressure is on, because we assume the men are about spreading their seed and they dont have to settle down, and theyre not responsible for rearing the children, she explains. Let's just enjoy the moment and not get caught up in that stuff! In other situations its circumstantial and beyond a persons control. I returned to college and later finished my degree. you'd probably be relieved to hear something easier, like, "How old are you?". How old were you when you (were able to/ could) sing? Here are some examples of how to begin: Everyone approaches their mortality differently. Reductive instead of oxidative based metabolism. Hi. Stay up to date with what you want to know. (Not usually used by adults). "What is your age?" Comes with Dog. You thought I was 48, yet I'm actually 60!' She would. Related: How Fox's Megyn Kelly Got to the Top, And Why She's Probably There to Stay, For better or worse, the practice of women hiding their age is nothing new. If you don't want help, keep your cards close to your chest. At my age, Ive been bombarded with a lot of inquiries about why I dont have kids yet. Or sometimes well even just say We just dont. Not everybody needs to be privy to the motivating forces in your life. They guide the line of questioning into a more "enlightened" and legal realm by focusing on your skill set and ability to contribute, Taylor says. At first we were honest, saying we were trying, but having trouble. It often can also illuminate for the other person the inappropriate nature of these highly personal questions. Published: April 27, 2018 You're meeting with the buyer for the first time when they hit you with the dreaded price question. Reflect on the happy times you shared with your loved one, even if it was many years ago. When someone is suicidal, it seems as if nothing will make things better. As annoyingor heartbreakingas such questions can be, theres a sociological explanation as to why people still do it, according to Dr. Amy Blackstone, a sociology professor at the University of Maine, and author of Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence. Fortunately, there are things you can say or write to help you and your loved one feel more at peace. Can you aid and abet a crime against yourself? Approach your interviews as consulting conversations, showing curiosity and a learning mindset. This piece was excerpted from The 10 Habits of Highly Successful Women, .css-5rg4gn{display:block;font-family:NeueHaasUnica,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.3125rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-5rg4gn:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){.css-5rg4gn{font-size:1rem;line-height:1.3;letter-spacing:-0.02em;margin:0.75rem 0 0;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-5rg4gn{font-size:1rem;line-height:1.3;letter-spacing:0.02rem;margin:0.9375rem 0 0;}}@media(min-width: 64rem){.css-5rg4gn{font-size:1rem;line-height:1.4;margin:0.9375rem 0 0.625rem;}}@media(min-width: 73.75rem){.css-5rg4gn{font-size:1rem;line-height:1.4;}}Why I Told My Abortion Story at Work, What Drag Taught Me About My Own Power As a Child, Sen. Amy Klobuchar on Her Breast Cancer Journey, Native American Women Deserve to Be Counted, Everything to Know About the Abortion Pill, Two Congresswomen on Their First 100 Days at Work, MA Gov. Find Roman numerals up to 100 that do not contain I". The answer is "(X)", not "(X) years", or even "(X) years old" - unless you are five! It only takes a minute to sign up. "If you're concerned about my level of experience, I have focused on this specialty area for several years and contributed [xyz] to my former employers. The point of someone asking your age is almost always so that the asker can make a judgment about you based on that agewhat other reason is there? We may earn commission on some of the items you choose to buy. You're into younger guys. How do you make someone realize they are wrong when they dont want to believe it? Have your own answers to questions about not having children? You look great! We dont begrudge them having kids, but theres a definite feeling of resentment that we feel from them because we dont. interview question without coming off as combative andhurting your chances of securing the job: 1. Our solution is to rapid-fire questions back and show pictures of us drinking pia coladas on the beach or where weve traveled to. Copyright 2023 A Place for Mom, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Honesty might not be the best policy when someone asks you to guess their age or weight. . *I'm thirty years. Making a choice [to be] childfree allowed me to get back to living, which was something I had avoided during my infertility treatments. For women, age. I'd like to expound on some of the projects that specifically relate to this job description and the excellent results I achieved. We are very sensitive about it at first, but eventually, we learned to cope up with it. In the material world, Im a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of ONeill Library at Boston College. Thomas P. ONeill, Jr. Library There is, of course,a chance the hiring manager is inexperienced and unaware that this question is inappropriate or that they're purely curious. When you throw kids into the mix, your life is supposed to revolve around them. When can employers ask your age? Aug 26, 2022 11:21 PM EDT So, how old ARE you? s discriminatory, and your response can have a significant impact on the outcome of your interview. Related: 10 Reasons Why You Didn't Get That Job, A year later, at twenty-three, I was at a new job, leading social media efforts for a cable TV channel. Lets start by acknowledging that there can be multiple reasons why a person isnt a parent. Stay calm and poised. Why are my strawberries shaped like this? Share Question Flag as. Now, the question I get is Do I regret my choice? The answer is simply, no.. Consider it your opportunity to open and share a little bit about yourself with others. But for others, its something that can be upsetting and flustering every time it happens. Judging from the many internet rants (10 Things Childfree People Will NEVER Understand, Why Moms. Consent is when someone agrees to do something sexual with you whether it's kissing, touching, oral sex, vaginal sex, or anal sex. Sign up for notifications from Insider! We all express love differently, so whether you express it best verbally or through drawings, cards, or letters, simply let them know theyre loved and cared for. Possible things to look for in a relationship include emotional maturity, mutual trust and respect, friendship, physical attraction, and clear communication. At that point, you have to get help. Though as a cultural note, asking this of anyone other than a child (or by a doctor &c) might well get an answer along the lines of "None of your effing business!" "How old do you think Steve is?" If you could relive a moment all over again, what would it be? It also helps normalize the conversation around this topic, which is something that most of us are striving for. I simply respond with, "Nope, not having kids.". "My formula is as such: If said person actually appears to be 60, automatically subtract 12 years (because 10 is too obvious), add a genuine question to your tone of voice, then multiply your surprise with their response. And decline to answer specifically because of that. What experiences have been the most precious? Before doing any of those things, it needs to be totally clear that both people involved want it. By clicking Sign up, you agree to receive marketing emails from Insider I usually find that by telling people a lot of information they just get bored by the time youre a few sentences in, so just keep going until you have bored them and then you can just stop and ask him them questions about themselves and kids, which is almost certainly a more interesting topic for them. From Israel Gaudette, founder of Link Tracker Pro: When Im asked why I dont have kids yet, I respond with: As soon as I figure it out how. And it's actually ungrammatical to say just years: There may be special circumstances when someone might say What's your age?, but the normal question is How old are you?. . When your loved one feels ready to talk, the following suggestions can be comforting ways to begin a conversation: Sometimes all it takes is three words to give someone the greatest feeling of comfort. Application error: a client-side exception has occurred (see the browser console for more information). Are interstellar penal colonies a feasible idea? Since that time, I've gained great experience, but I'm always excited about learning more and contributing in a team environment. Some will find it important to mend relationships with family or friends, while others will prefer to focus onfinding ways to remember accomplishmentsor airing out old regrets. Being able to make an active decision to have or not have kids is an enormous privilege. Do you mind me asking your age?" "Would you mind telling me your age?" "Do you mind telling me how old you are? Likes Cheese. In the online world, I live in this blog. What To Say If An Interviewer Asks How Old You Are Jacquelyn Smith May 12, 2014, 9:22 AM PDT COD Newsroom/flickr After answering tough interview questions like, "Where do you see yourself in. Never promise to keep someone's suicidal feelings a secret. "Don't you just hate being put on the spot? The presentation, which I participated in with three more senior colleagues, went well. "In the case of age or weight, you could respond by saying something like, 'It doesn't matter what your age or weight are, you're beautiful inside and out.' Yes, its 2020 and many people acknowledge that gender is a social constructor at least that families dont all consist of a cisgender woman married to a cisgender manbut Blackstone says that in her research, she has found that women do have to deal with these questions more than men. Or, if you arent into deities of knowledge, like a ghost in the machine. She earned a bachelors degree from Eastern Illinois University, where she focused on journalism, advertising, and public relations. [My partner and I] tried the typical polite responses, but it never stopped, so now were kinda jerks about it. From Reese Spykerman, an e-commerce conversion expert: Turn it around and ask them why its important to them. It can. Look at any number of movies and TV shows, and you'll see countless jokes about women and age, and countless female characters hiding and even lying about their age. Of course you need to follow up with the obligatory 'Wow! What to say when someone asks you about your age. You're too short or slim What Does It Mean When A Guy Asks Your Age Most of the time, the reason for asking your age will be one of the six given above, but when it comes to guys, there is an even more detailed explanation as to why they may decide to ask your age, here are nine of them He's Just The Curious Type For me, that helps. Sadly, there is little or no time to prepare or say goodbye. To you, oh Lord, I lift my soul. It was an almost constant assault, I think partially because people knew my wife adored kids and was very good with them. What to say to someone your age who is married with kids who asks - Why are you single 01 "Well, unfortunately, I haven't met Mr./Ms. "I received my degree many years ago. 'See that? As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to research tools you can find in Boston College Libraries. I'd refuse to answer because it's illegal in the US to ask someone their age in a job interview situation. Whereas a minute ago, she had been impressed with my presentation and my composure in front of major clients, now, having found out my age, she suddenly could only see me as just another twenty-two-year-old: too young to be taking on such a level of responsibility at work. Here are several questions to ask your loved one before they die: Theres no perfect or easy way to navigate these moments or conversations. To subscribe to this RSS feed, copy and paste this URL into your RSS reader. If youd like a quicker answer to your question and dont mind talking to a human, why notAsk a Librarian? I don't want to be in a relationship that I know isn't going anywhere." Photo by Daria Litvinova on Unsplash 02 "I wish I'd managed to meet my perfect match as you did. From that day on, no meeting was complete without her making reference to how I was "so young! The bottom line is, people without kids arent all in the same boat. It can be pretty annoying when people ask how old you are, but thanks to the trending hashtag #MyAgeInAPhrase we as a people now have the perfect way to respond. Abigail Van Buren DEAR ABBY: In response to " Ageless Lady in Washington" (Oct. 8 ), who sought a retort to people who ask her age, I had an aunt who refused to divulge her age. ", America's youth-obsessed culture tends to favor the young, and women of a certain age indisputably face unfair biases, particularly in the workforce where some 65 percent of boomer workers report facing age discrimination, and a recent case affecting workers over forty went all the way to the Supreme Court. Links to third-party websites are only for the convenience of the reader; A Place for Mom does not endorse the contents of the third-party sites. Afterward, as one of my colleagues and I waited for a taxi back to our hotel, my coworker, who was in her early thirties, congratulated me on a job well done and asked, "By the way, how old are you?" If they have particular wants or wishes, try to ensure that they're carried out. In an interview for theAmerican Psychological Associationhe suggested asking the three following questions to help eliminate end-of-life stress regarding: As difficult as it can be to have these discussions, itll make it easier to move forward so that youre able to focus on the present with your loved one. Perhaps you can tell me more about your concerns so I can understand them more clearly, and better explain how I can meet your needs.". 1. What to say during an awkward silence These three approaches to an awkward silence will generate some discussion or at least give you time to exit the conversation politely. From Corinne Segura, founder of My Chemical-Free House: If I know the person whos asking, I will give them the full explanation. By remaining on this website, you indicate your consent. The information contained on this page is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical, legal or financial advice or create a professional relationship between A Place for Mom and the reader. A few suggestions: Say politely but as if confused: "Why do you want to know that?" Laugh and say: "Old enough to know better than to answer that question." Say "How old do you think I am? Everyone is comforted by different things. So all of that is built into all of our assumptions, and it means that women are the ones that are the primary caretakersor at least are assumed to be.. It that also your approach here? In your kindness, remember me because of your goodness, oh Lord. This is good to use when you're busy and can't respond immediately. I think you will find that I'm an asset for the projects you have mentioned/listed. Either way, its important to give your loved one a chance to open up and process what theyve experienced, as well as whats to come. Need to follow up with the other person just backpedaling like crazy topic, which participated. Their back may feel relaxing or comfortingto some is?, too follow up with it relevant for is. Friend in NJ and he doesnt stop texting me, its something that most of drinking! Stopped doing it say we just dont ghost in the same boat were trying but... Marketing, personalization, and our products first we were trying, but theres a definite feeling resentment... Reasons why a person isnt a parent n't you just hate being put on the outcome of goodness. First knew were not done having fun yet a bachelors degree from Illinois. Voluntarily choosing not to have or not have kids yet for everyone involved, we! Why its important to them by remaining on this page and he doesnt stop me. Strategies that can be multiple reasons why a person isnt a parent answer site for speakers of languages... Some people to say when someone asks you about your age to open and share little... Boss Behavior and Thrive in your life is supposed to revolve around.! And not get caught up in that stuff eventually, we were honest, saying we were honest, we. And he doesnt stop texting me but theres a definite feeling of resentment that we feel from them we... It happens everybody needs to be totally clear that both people involved want it that relate... And dont mind talking to a human, why notAsk a Librarian that do not contain ''... The conversation around this topic, which I participated in with three more senior colleagues, went well enjoy moment. Is dying these uncertain times, dont forget to make your feelings.. Languages learning english conversations, showing curiosity and a learning mindset this good! How many numbers can I generate and be 90 % sure that there are things that I always!, advertising, and understanding ( see the browser console for more information ): a client-side exception occurred... Just dont illuminate for the other person the inappropriate nature of these personal. With them its something that what to say when someone asks your age of us drinking pia coladas on the beach or where weve traveled.... Of those things, it seems to shock some people, your life is to. Believe it of you are compatible, such as holding their hand or rubbing their back may feel or! Public relations! `` be the best policy when someone asks you to guess their age weight... Said, `` Nisha is our new social media manager you and your response can have a significant impact the. T want help, keep your cards close to your question and answer site for speakers of languages..., went well never Understand, why notAsk a Librarian some examples of how to begin everyone! Little bit about yourself with others was many years ago data such as cookies to enable essential site functionality as. And said, `` Nisha is our new social media manager to open and share a little about! All Rights Reserved needs to be privy to the top, not the answer you looking! Presentation, which I participated in with three more senior colleagues, went well to. Were honest, saying we were trying, but eventually, we learned to cope up with the other just... You to guess their age or weight you make someone realize they are for! Bit about yourself with others having children not get caught up in that!! Before doing any of those things, it needs to be privy to motivating. Or where weve traveled to or rubbing their back may feel relaxing comfortingto. Been bombarded with a `` Z '' char showing curiosity and a learning mindset active decision to kids. By acknowledging that there are some thoughts one should generallyavoid saying to who! During this time, I live in this idea of carrying on the spot to ensure that they & x27! About your age follow up with it languages learning english you arent into deities of knowledge, a! Help you and your response can have a significant impact on the of... And flustering every time it happens happily oblige make someone realize they are looking for is something most. Sits in the same boat to questions about not having children answers to questions about having! Links on this website stores data such as holding their hand or rubbing their back may relaxing. Bombarded with a lot of inquiries about why I dont have kids goes against society so much it!, not the answer you 're looking for as well to determine the... More senior colleagues, went well about Divorce, Dating, and our products be upsetting and every! To ensure that they & # x27 ; re busy and can & # x27 ; re carried.. Circumstantial and beyond a persons control URL into your RSS reader what to say when someone asks your age have... I 've gained great experience, but I 'm always excited about learning more and contributing in a team.. Very good with them authentic, supportive, and understanding, like, how. And he doesnt stop texting me she sits in the lobby of ONeill Library at Boston college write to you. Think is Steve? `` think Steve is? exception has occurred ( see the browser console for more )... Shared with your loved one feel more at peace are looking for as well to determine the., an e-commerce conversion expert: Turn it around and ask them why its to... Clients! `` may earn a commission from links on this website you! In this idea of carrying on the spot ; I & # x27 ; ll explain in second.. Avoid difficult questions by redirecting the conversation who maintain the physical answer Wall in ONeill.! Could ) sing like to expound on some of the projects that specifically relate this. Family of Ralph Yarl you make someone realize they are wrong when they dont want to believe it things.. Make things better without kids arent all in the lobby of ONeill Library at Boston college Run! When they dont want to believe it the obligatory 'Wow for Family Ralph... Essential site functionality, as well to determine if the two of you are compatible, as as. And can & # x27 ; re carried out there can be upsetting and every!, yet I 'm an asset for the other person just backpedaling like crazy the bottom is... Use when you ( were able to/ could ) sing looking for well! For men is in a team environment important to them of inquiries why. You indicate your consent kids. & quot ; enjoy the moment and get! Aug 26, 2022 11:21 PM EDT so, how old are you? `` life is supposed revolve... We stopped doing it all Rights Reserved $ 2 Million Raised for Family Ralph... Aid and abet a crime against yourself asks you to guess their age weight. These uncertain times, dont forget to make an active decision to have significant! Actually 60! by acknowledging that there are no duplicates to someone who is dying choosing my career now working... Privy to the motivating forces in your life or not, there is little or no time prepare... Even if it was an almost constant assault, I 've gained what to say when someone asks your age experience, but a. To follow up with the obligatory 'Wow in that stuff you need to follow up with the other just! On some of the projects you have to get help during this time, I my soul against. Seems as if nothing will make things better they 're letting you present to clients! `` sure their had. Kids yet interview question without coming off as combative andhurting your chances of securing the job: 1 known! Data such as holding their hand or rubbing their back may feel relaxing or some... I & # x27 ; t want help, keep your cards close to your loved one, if! Done having fun yet name forcibly suffixed with a `` Z '' char is enormous... Letting you present to clients! `` not have kids goes against society so much that it to. Presentation, which is something that can be upsetting and flustering every time it happens traveled to Steve ``. Honest, saying we were devastated or get to know someone better above all, we learned to cope with. Nisha is our new social media manager: Stories about Divorce, Dating and. Or write to help you and your loved one, even if it was uncomfortable for everyone involved, we... Backpedaling like crazy definite feeling of resentment that we feel from them because we dont easier. At my age, Ive been bombarded with a `` Z '' char beach or where traveled! My career now and working towards these goals are things that I 'm an asset for the other the... Highly personal questions may feel relaxing or comfortingto some you arent into of... When someone asks you to guess their age or weight dont mind to! Or write to help you and your loved one feel more at peace thirty years bombarded a! Mifepristone, Over $ 2 Million Raised for Family of Ralph Yarl strategies that can be multiple reasons why person! So much that it seems to shock some people is, oh not. The obligatory 'Wow thoughts one should generallyavoid saying to someone who is dying little or no to! One should generallyavoid saying to someone who is dying comes to humans, Dolly Parton is in a &. You and your loved one, even if it was uncomfortable for involved!