I think ghosting is sometimes the product of guilt and embarrassment. Earlier this year some friends posted me on a dating site that I did not know about (they felt sorry for me). Nada. Then, radio silence, It just happened to me too! After all, you are the queen of their hearts, right? In my many moments of weakness, I would look at her friends Twitter pages to get some sense of how she was doing because deep down I still cared deeply about her, even if it was a one-way street at this point. Up until now, Ive never experienced ghosting and never even knew it was a thing and let me tell you it fucking SUCKS! They have finally achieved your devotion. It comes from a place of fear, as in, theyre scared of having to share their feelings and *gasp* put themselves out there for a potentially awkward text conversation that really only has to take up five minutes of their life. I dont think ghosting is a new thing, it happened to me even back in the 90ties with people I used to talk a lot via msn messenger and sms or even yahoo. I think Im a situation like that, ghosting is totally justified. I get so terrified when I think that he probably met another girl that is more interesting or pretty than me or something but its the truth. Have we as a society dropped to such a low that we cant realize that the other person has a life and their time is valuable too? You probably wouldnt have been into them if you they werent. Lets say you guys date and she gets back with the ex. HE sent me lovey dovey messages, good morning good night texts with hearts and all sweets, we were sexually insinuating to each otherafter one year, out of nowhere, he started to be more distant and cold. And yes, I remember the post-it note. Im happy to say that she was able to tell him I was getting married! "Hey," I texted. I cant be put through this pain again. Anyway, after 3 days of her completely changing: taking ages to reply, all the pet names like babe had stopped and she wouldnt respond to any nice messages I sent her (I werent being too full on, I was just saying I hope she felt better soon and that I missed her), I finally dragged it out of her after saying I felt worried that she werent being the same. Ha ha I really did not know which photos to use. He asked me after the date if he can see me again, and I said yes so he drove all the way to my place for three hours to see me. And now she was re-gifting them. Of course it is much much worse and more hurtful when it happens later on, but its just a question of scale. I even said in my last ever text that if he was fed up with me just to tell me and I would stop contacting him.but nothing. I havent re-read any of the emails, but it just feels better out than in. A friend of mine had this happen fairly recently. He got better. First time Ive ever posted a comment, but this article really hits home! Anyways just wanted to post this for my sake. Now I have learned my ghost is happily married. I know it doesnt seem like a lot but we really got to know each other. I still sometimes think about him and hope he is ok. (And no I havent stalked him over the internet in case you are wondering mainly because by the time I thought of doing that I had already forgotten his last name). Ive reached out a few times. If he cared or had respect for me, which I thought he did, he wouldve just said he needed a break. Now a lot of the communicating was initiated by him, wish I just figured I was someone familiar I mean we have known each other almost 7 years now. Felt like things were going well and she was having fun. Ghosting sucks! Do they have a conscience? I just got ghosted yesterday. Shocked me since it had happened when we had an established relationship. She looked at me for half a second, turned away, and got all nervous. I sometimes look her social media up where she posts a lot of happy and pretty pictures, as well as adding a lot of good looking single guys to her friend list. I wore cologne. 5 years ended up like this. We went out to eat the next day and she drove me to the bus station. We often talked for hours at night about how we want to try this and then - some weeks ago - she told me that she loved me and that never before a person had impacted her life in such a way. How can someone you love and who supposedly loves you just ignore you like that? And so did he! Yep, theres an episode where Mirandas date literally ghosts (ha), but theres also an episode where Burger breaks up with Carrie on a post-it note. Dont let them play you, and take a stand when you think you need to take a stand. Thank you so much for for sharing this Brenna, your words have helped fill the hole that cowardly ghost has left. A few days of exchanged texts and calls, then within a week of the date nothing. Rather a mom, her kids were in the same play school as mine. Then one morning he left my house there was only texts for a week, then one 12 minute phone call where he said he would call back to talk about the distance. I felt like her re-gifting things was a petty way to get at me. So I sent one more for closure a week later, more for myself really and not for him, saying ghosting someone is a really mean thing to do and I was offended he thought I wasnt worth the effort of him just typing the word goodbye. Then I was so depressed I ended up back in the same dead end relationship. I didnt think anything at first. Contrary to the belief there are plenty of others out there, you only have runaway love but a handful of times. And she was able to be her true self, even though it was not an easy life with him. So, one day we return from vacation and hes getting ready to go to work while we discuss how to celebrate my birthday. You definitely got yourself a new reader. I was just ghosted yesterday. Ive read a few other blog posts about other peoples ghosting experience, just to help me make sense of my own, but most of them talk about ghosting after only a few dates. I couldnt believe it. Fellow victim of ghosting herewith pretty much every guy Ive been on dates with in 2016 (not counting the ones that I didnt care about that still ghosted, thats at least 4 guys that I went on 2-4 dates with). So towards the end of the week I asked if I had done something wrong. Mike: Thanks for sharing. Im being cautious about what I put in and I know I put in too much perhaps too. Im really sad what dating had become, how people are so disrespectful these days. But every day he initiated conversation. ghosted. Im sorry, Jonathan, I wrote. Its just one stupid text. But, still Ive suffered intermittent ghosting, haha. First because he told me. Charming, but bad for my soul. We lived together for 7 years. Luckily, I eventually grew up and started handling these situations like an adult. We got along great and he was goofy and charming and all the things that I was looking for. He came to my country last month and I though we had a great time together but once he went back to his country (the US), all communications stopped. From the start, I told her I understood if she didnt want to bother with me because I werent fully out but during the time with her, I came out to my best friend and my mum and she was proud of me for that and said she didnt care and theres no rush, she still wanted to be with me. Now another friend of mine, who I became close with because of COVID, might start ghosting me. I turned him down and explained to him that something like that would take time, after we got to know each other better. Feel compassion for yourself and, if possible, for this man. Brenna, as a fellow Londoner, please let us know if you ever plan a coffee/wine/gin event Im working off the basis that I would defo like other people who love your blog, and it would be good to meet other kindred spirits in this horrific dating world! No FaceTiming anymore? *sigh*. We went for a walk, then for appetizers and drinks, and then a movie. Be kind. Youre right its really perplexing and VERY frustrating. Trust me its not worth pining over! I thought that was cute so i got in touch with him. I realize we werent dating and I had more invested in the notion of her and I dating in the future than she did, but it still hurts. Thats it, now Im gone for good. This behaviour is not ok no matter the duration, one date or 3 months into a budding relationship. I was gone for 4 days skiing and in that time I texted her twice, with no response at all. and I really liked this new woman, this definitely does not help with getting back out there. I understand that fully as been seeing a guy for getting on 18 months. Even if the underlying reason is that they dont want to hurt you with a dismissive text, surely anyone would rather know than have to figure it out for themselves over the coming days/weeks. So meeting him and sensing that he liked me and cared for me was really a dream come true. She was so happy. Im heartbroken. Then a few days later it was: I had a good time. After I replied, no response. A week? At the beginning I was not sure but I started to really like him. The constant pain and the not knowing is sooo hard. Her profile listed she was looking for something casual and she told me she recently had a bad breakup and wasnt looking for anything serious. Did he really like me, did he really miss me and was that why he stayed in contact? One of our mutual friend will have her birthday this weekend. Thank you so much for posting this! You wouldnt even be able to look at the red flags on this person behind all the compliments. Im a 41 year old man with social awkwardness. If my last relationship hadnt ended with a big fat ghosting (the rear ghost that tries to come back and haunt you a couple of months later) then maybe it wouldnt seem as infuriatingly shit. She first exhibited her paintings in 1943. Her friend had gone so we were alone in the house. I agree better to find out the calibre of a (wo)man earlier rather than later on down the track when youre fully invested in the relationship. It was all going well then he just dropped off the face of the earth. I texted him a couple days later after that and I got no response. Our future plans became vague. 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